Testees...Old, Fat, Unattractive Ones

Episode 6: Herfume
Original Air Date—13 November 2008
Peter and Ron are given a cologne that is supposed to attract women through pheromones. However, it turns out to only work on old, fat, unattractive ones, who are turned into zombie rapists.

Testees Rules Television

Illustrations by Shawn McManus and Jim McDermott


Testees is a half-hour comedy from Kenny Hotz (creator of Kenny vs. Spenny) about two best friends and roommates who make a living as guinea pigs for "Testico," a drug and product testing facility. In each episode, the guys just try to live their lives while dealing with the often surprising side effects and highly unusual occupational hazards.

Peter Cooper (Steve Markle): Peter is somewhat neurotic and awkwardly unsuccessful with women. He seems to dwell on the negative realities in the world, failing to enjoy life in the moment. His negativity is more subtle than aggressive. He’s a good-hearted person. Peter is slightly anti-social. He likes playing video games and DVDs like Girls Gone Wild. Despite his negative traits he’s still likeable and is rarely loud or obnoxious. He’s a bit of a slob and paranoid about the unforeseen effects of the experiments. It’s usually Peter that gets the short end of the stick. Peter has dreams of being rich but doesn’t do anything to get there.

Ron Mitchell (Jeff Kassel): Ron is slightly more normal than Peter. He doesn’t mind being a guinea pig as much as Peter does. He justifies his choice of occupation by deeming it a necessary service to society. He’s generally more composed than his pal and slightly better with women. Most people would admire his loyalty and ethics. Like Peter, he strives for a better life. He’s vaguely more aware of the real world than Peter is but he’s still a complete slacker and a tad naive. In the end he’ll always do what’s right, but it might take him a little time to figure it out.

Cast and Characters

Nugget (Joe Pingue): He’s loud, he’s obnoxious and he’s always looking for a scam to make a quick buck - even if it means selling out those closest to him. He’s also Ron and Peter’s best friend.

Kate (Kim Schraner): She’s cute, spunky and probably the smartest person in the show. But Nugget and the boys always manage to drag her down to their level. She’s like one of the boys, but with boobs.

Larry (Kenny Hotz): The most senior Testee and Testico’s resident ladies man. He always gets the best products to try - and while the boys suffer, he finds a way to turn even the worst side effects to his advantage.